To the newly weds,
For the past five days I have been trying to cry. Crying never comes easy to me – it requires a lot: Privacy, the right mood, a song dripping with melancholy….even the lighting plays a part lol. It’s a whole ordeal. On Monday there were several occasions in which these “necessities” were almost jettisoned. I found myself welling up like a mighty geyser – my ego a hermetically sealed lid preventing the emotions from oozing out.
I wanted to cry on Tuesday thinking about the vows that my cherished cousin - whom I not only love but greatly admire - pledged to his betrothed. Tuesday was a travel day so they remained stifled. The only thing that rivals American Airlines’ lack of customer support is it’s spaciousness – If I had crumbled and wept on the plane, the person in 22 E would have been drenched - another day of suppressing my tears.
On Wednesday I found myself dwelling on a theme of your wedding – the commitment that the two of you not only share for one another, but for God. You see, sometimes there is a love so palpable that it galvanizes a person to live a better life. I’d like to tip my proverbial cowboy hat (which I would probably look great in) to you two for helping me get back on a path directed toward the focal point of this universe - God. After being away from Him for a long while and suddenly being gripped by His presence which was hovering over that wedding venue, I felt the lid from the geyser removed and the crushing emotional suppression begin to rise. The first few tears streamed down my face and then, suddenly, a secondary alarm that I had set began screeching from beyond the shower…..what a tease. When will I cry? It’s been months.
On Thursday the emotions surprisingly amplified. There was a moment at your wedding that felt suspended in time. It was about as surreal of an experience as one can imagine that will forever remain seared into my brain. Mrs. Keim took hold of the microphone and began to speak about Summer’s brother and his passing - specifically about how much he would have loved that special day. I am not convinced that he did miss it. There was a hybrid of powerful winds and dark clouds suffused with golden sun and thick droplets of rain that began showering from the heavens right around the time of her speech. While a group sang and wept, embracing one another, two families united, celebrating his life. Almost on queue, two magnificent rainbows burst through the dark clouds. Summer’s brother was not physically there but, in spirit, he was celebrating a long anticipated day. In fact, I think he had the best seat in the house – positioned on top of the most vibrant rainbows I’ve ever seen – watching us sing and dance and literally play in the rain. I don’t know who that photographer was but she will be able to monetize the pictures of you two kissing in front of that rainbow for millions of dollars. There was also a woman that I encountered that I thought to be an angel. She had a face like a Keim and she spearheaded the charge into the rain. I walked alongside her and she turned to me, glistening. She smiled and said in a very soft voice, something akin to, “Some people run from the rain, I like to run through it.” This immortalized memory managed to make me cry.
I am lost quite often in life. For a while I believed it to be a curse. But how lucky I am to feel emotions this powerful after being away from beauty for so long. When people or experiences help to pluck me from the darkness, I owe them immense gratitude. So thank you, beautiful people, for memories that pulverize my desire to live for myself. That special day has given me a realigned purpose and mission in life.
This is my wedding gift to you. And in case it sucks, I’ve also venmo’d Joe $200 bucks.
Please use this gift of love to continue to change people for the better like you’ve helped change me :) Sincerely,
Your Friend Kyle
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